Children

Today the children have been difficult, refusing to abide by normal boundaries, testing limits, and then suddenly clinging close, needing affection. My patience is at its limit, and it's not even noon. I'm not sure what to do at this point. Sometimes children can be incredibly frustrating.

Somehow, I am supposed to cope, be able to cope, with only a nuclear family. It's too much to ask. I need more. But our culture says that needing more makes you a failure as a mother, a wife, and a woman.

I need more. If things were different, then I wouldn't feel that I have no one to call on for support, though I'm in a better enough place that I'm capable of reaching out today.

The last couple of weeks, my husband and I have admitted to and apologized for mistakes the both of us have made over the past few years. Of course, some mistakes are easier to rectify than others. Some mistakes are easier to admit than others. But confession is supposed to be good for your soul, right?

Writing isn't working so well for me today. I keep getting interrupted in the middle of sentences, and I am spending more time trying to remember which thought I wanted to continue than actually continuing anything. My husband and I are still struggling and still working on it.