All In the Head

Responding to Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows by JK Rowling

(page 723) “’Tell me one last thing,’ said Harry. ‘Is this real? Or has this been happening inside my head?’
“Dumbledore beamed at him, and his voice sounded loud and strong in Harry’s ears even though the bright mist was descending again, obscuring his figure.
“’Of course it is happening inside your head, Harry, but why on earth should that mean that it is not real?”

Right now I'm on medication for depression because of all the hurt I feel and have felt for much of my life. I'm in counseling because I am reliving and rehashing bad memories. Perhaps not too surprisingly, as I go through this journey or process, I'm having a difficult time keeping my relationships in positive places.

As I try to re-imagine my psyche into a healthier, less pain-filled place, I have a some wonderful imagery, often borrowed from pop culture. One of the images that recur in my head is that of Raven on Teen Titans, the episode where Beast Boy and Cyborg get lost in her head and meet a rainbow of Ravens. I too have a rainbow of Anons walking about in my head. I'm not sure what color I am manifesting at the moment.

Healing the emotions is hard work. My meditation/thought of the week is to not worry about good or bad, and to focus on being. And I'm also supposed to buy myself some clay to create with.

In the meantime, I'm still on my laundry from a Zen approach project. It never ends.

The Truth Is

I've had a difficult last couple of weeks. Between an out-of-commission car, being ill, having late shifts when my husband has early shifts, and school being in session, I have struggled to do anything more than drive, work and sleep. Blogging has been too much effort.

Today I'm responding to Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone by JK Rowling.

(page 298) "'The Truth.' Dumbledore sighed. 'It is a beautiful and terrible thing, and should therefore be treated with great caution. However, I shall answer your questions unless I have a very good reason not to, in which case I beg you'll forgive me. I shall not, of course, lie.'"

The truth is a beautiful and terrible thing. Sometimes the truth is liberating. Sometimes it's harmful.

I have long told my friends that they can ask me anything, but it's always been up to me whether I answer. Sometimes I don't.

Truth can be a weapon. When I spoke out and encouraged others to speak out about the inappropriate actions of a coworker, the truth was indeed a weapon. A righteous weapon, but still a weapon. That coworker is now a former coworker.

The truth is that I have much to say, but my thoughts aren't as coherent as they normally are. Rather than jumping immediately back into blogging, I'm easing back.

I will do my best not to be offended by questions, but I have learned over the last couple of weeks that my temper has become more volatile since embarking on my mission of healing my past, as I have discovered a vault of anger that I have trouble keeping shut off. I of course will continue to choose whether I answer anything.