Respect

Responding to "Hooking Up with Healthy Sexuality: The Lessons Boys Learn (and Don't Learn) About Sexuality, and Why a Sex Positive Rape Prevention Paradigm Can Benefit Everyone Involved" by Brad Perry.

(page 199) "Why aren't we all socialized to expect and proactively ensure that every sexual interaction is marked by mutual enjoyment and respect?"

Let's think about this question, let it simmer in our collective consciences, and stew on it awhile.

Sex should have mutual enjoyment and respect? Every time, no matter what? Really?

Why not?

Because sex really should be all about mutual enjoyment and respect every time no matter what.

Yes, ladies, sex really should be more than submitting to your husband and procreation.

Yes, men, sex should be more than scoring or getting off or punishing someone.

Envision better. Act Better. Expect more.

Even when sex is a casual hook-up one time only thing, it should come from a place of reciprocity. "All about me" sex may satisfy a physical need temporarily, but giving someone an orgasm is better for the ego.

Even when sex is paid for, there should be respect. Another person, a human being just like you and me, has negotiated certain services for a particular payment. They have limits, and those limits need to be abode. Non-payment, violence, and going beyond the agreed upon limits are all wrong.

And even in a marriage, NO must be heard. And when one spouse is deeply asleep, it is not acceptable for the partner to do sexual acts without their knowledge.

Violence is unacceptable.

Coercion is unacceptable.

Rape is unacceptable.

Every sexual interaction MUST be marked by mutual enjoyment and respect. Or it doesn't belong in "The Number." It doesn't count, and depending upon the circumstances, it deserves a name other than sex.